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Zoomer Article: Breaking Up to Make Up
"Gilmour has made mutual hearing a cornerstone of her practice. A healthy relationship requires that "each side feels heard, even if the other party doesn't agree with what's being said," she explains. But how do you get there? "You break it down into workable pieces...

“Why Can’t You Understand Me?! I’m Making Myself So Damn Clear”!!
Have you ever been in that situation where you and your partner have had a bit of a spat, nothing serious but it didn't feel good and now that you've both calmed down you're ready to talk. You start first and you truly believe you're expressing yourself brilliantly...

DATE NIGHT – What, Where, When, How, Why
"Go out on a DATE together?”, my clients say in almost perfect unison and in similar tones of poorly masked skepticism. “A DATE?? Together?? Just the two of us?? How?? Why??” Pay attention to what you, the reader, are thinking right now as you read the word...

SOLUTIONS in Counselling
As you go through life, brother, Whatever be your goal: Keep your eye upon the doughnut, And not upon the hole. (Anonymous, 1998) This little snippet pretty well sums up my counselling approach in a nutshell. Solution-Focused Brief Therapy (SFBT) is based on the...

“I’ve Been Dumped, I Can’t Breathe and I Need Hope”!
Preface: The following isn’t gender, age, race or sexual orientation-specific. I refer to the client as ‘they’ and to the boyfriend/girlfriend as the ‘partner’. The First Call I get the call from the client, I can tell right away they’re fighting to keep themselves...

To Leave or Not to Leave – A Tough Conversation
I often get clients coming in who are at a crossroads in terms of whether or not they should leave their relationship – these clients generally come in on their own initially so we aren’t having this conversation in front of their partner. This of course creates a...